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07 November

Yesterday morning was agonizing. A night of terrorizing dreams, and then waking up with a splitting headache. I had a shower, which usually tends to help, but it didn't. I spent the majority of the morning daydreaming about Korea like usual, and then left for university still feeling like my brain wasn't completely attached to the rest of me yet.

I went to the coffee shop like I did so many times in Seoul. I've never been brave enough to estimate how much money I would've saved had I not consumed as many cafe lattes as I did that year. I walked up to the woman at Second Cup, and asked for a "cappae latte," the only phrase that was effective in Seoul.

"What?"

"Cafe latte, please."

"How are you?" She asked. (Her timing was awkward, but she seemed concerned.)

"Fine, thank you. And you?"

"I'm okay. Where are you from?"

"I'm from here."

"You're from here?"

"Yeah, here."

I think she knew that I wasnt...reallly...here. (And that I needed some caffeine...fast.) I got so used to acting like I didn't know what was going on in Seoul, that I can pull it off in Canada, too. It felt kind of affirming. She was right, it doesn't feel right here. But it also made me realize that I do need to snap out of this mental state.

After my classes, I met with my Korean conversation partner. We complained about Canada until we both felt normal again. Something needs to be done about this pattern.

10:35 | Blog it

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(no name) wrote:

Hey Rachell!! Sorry it's been so long. It sounds like you've had a very interesting/difficult past while. Your story about "Cappe Latte" made me smile. I'm studying Korean right now with a friend and trying to build some of my language skills so I have something to say besides, Cappe Latte Jusaeyo and Kamsahamnida :) It's a slow processs:)

Another issue came up with my boss today. It seems like an endless drama that I'm looking forward to running away from. Then I stopped today and thought, there's gotta be a reason all this is happening and probably way more than one reason and running away sure isn't going to change the situation, nor am I gonna learn all that I could from it. If I keep up this bad attitude for all the stupid stunts my boss pulls I might miss out on the lesson I was to learn, and I'll be giving him the power to continue to affect my mood and enjoyment of life and Korea. So, today when my boss pulled another trick out of his hat that just about sent me over the edge I decided to find the positive in it. It was amazing, I made a good day out of it by a simple choice of thankfulness. Rach, in all your struggles with Canadian culture and people, identity and purpose and direction I hope you can find some things to be thankful about too.

I love you and miss you.

Guess what!...did Chris tell you I'm coming home Jan. 13 and I'll be living in Winnipeg? I can hardly wait to see you.

TTYL...Patricia

22 Nov.

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